George Bush says we are losing the War On Drugs. Well, do you know what that implies? There’s a war going on… and people on drugs are winning it! (ecstatic laughter) Well what does that tell you about drugs? There’s some smart, creative motherfuckers on that side. They’re winning a war and they’re fucked up…

And that’s why the War On Drugs doesn’t work and is a lie. It’s Hypocrisy. Alcohol and cigarrettes kill more than crack, weed, coke, and heroin … COMBINED! Uh… So the War on Drugs is really um… kind of a cocksuck isn’t it?

And the worst part is, they lump all the drugs together. pot. CRACK. It’s bullshit. Pot is not bad for you, it should be legalized. AND you should be required to smoke it everyday. You get stuck in front of someone in traffic and they’re just behind you “honk, honkkkk, HONK!!!” “HERE, smoke this… It’s the Law.” *inhale* “Ah, sorry man, I was taking life too seriously. Aw shit man, I’m sorry about all that noise I thought it mattered. Aw shit who’s hungry.”

I mean, wouldn’t that be a nice world? Hungry, fucked up, mellow people everywhere. With Dominos Pizza trucks passing each other on every highway. Parades of Dominos. Let them get stuck in traffic then all our pizzas will be free.